Sleep
by Straying Life
Summary: Such a comforting bed…such a comforting resting place...


Bleh, done at 1 am when I really want to do this…Oh wells, here it is for you to attack with unnecessary brute force. For once, not a drabble. Instead, what should be a drabble with flashbacks and other stuff. Enjoy (or inflict pain upon) Sleep.

SUMMARY: Such a comforting bed…such a comforting resting place.

DISCLAIMER: nuh-uh.

RATED: T for implications.

Sleep

I just want to sleep and never wake up. Avoid these emotions…the emotions that are ruining me…they are reaching inside me, taking over my mind, my soul, my every thought…

I need to get rid of it. I need to! It's not a desire anymore…it's necessary…I've tried every last thing, and I was turned down. Sleep…it's my last option…never rise again…

"_Please!" I cried. "Please, Sam, help me!" I screamed, clutching at her wrists desperately. Tears rolled down my cheeks. Her face was hard._

"_No, Danny. I won't let you." She shook her hands out of my grip and her voice softened. "Danny, you have to understand…I know this is painful, but you have to hang on…you don't know how many people you're hurting."_

"_You…You don't know where it hurts," I said quietly, my hand shaking as I brought it up to my chest. "It hurts so badly…everywhere. So badly…I can't take it! Please, Sam, I'm begging you!"_

"_I can't let you, Danny, because it's going to hurt me also."_

"_Please Sam! I need this!" I was kissing her hand, but it wasn't working. "Please! It's…It's killing me! I've got nothing left!"_

"_Danny!" She shook my shoulders. "Listen to me! You haven't lost everything! You've still got…" I could hear that she was straining to get it out. I couldn't see her, though. "You've still got me." With that, she left me there on the floor, crying and begging._

"_PLEASE! SAM, PLEASE!" I screeched, falling helplessly. "Please…" I muttered, shaking with pain. _

Fall into a permanent dream…where pain didn't exist, where I was fine. Where I was like the next person…where I didn't need sleep. I want this so badly…all I want to do…just stop starving myself. Stop all of it.

The mattress is so tempting. It's my last wish…my last dying wish. Sleep is all I need now, and leave behind the pain.

No one understands exactly what kind of pain it is. It's not someone else causing it…it's my own fault. I've gotten myself into this, and it's destroying me…destroying me from the inside out.

It's all my own fault, and it's time to end it once and for all.

"_May I go to the bathroom?" asked Danny. I raised my eyebrow curiously; he hasn't been feeling well. He broke down on me two days ago and nothing's been helping._

_As he left, I followed as he slithered into the boy's bathroom. After three minutes passed, he still hadn't come out and I couldn't hear the sink on. Ah, screw it, this was an emergency! I kicked open the door and ran, searching for his stall. Finally, I found the unlocked stall. I slowly opened the door and there was Danny on his knees. He was so desperate…I could see the determination in his face, but more than anything, the pain. I looked at what he was doing. I gasped._

_Danny was bringing up his wrist flesh against the teeth of the toilet paper dispenser. They were very sharp teeth. One of his wrists was already bursting with blood, and he was working on the second, mouth open in concentration although it looked like he was hypnotized._

"_DANNY!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs. His face turned to me as the teeth cut the second wrist. He froze._

"_Sam!" he said. I was frozen myself. As much as I wanted to help, I couldn't will myself to move. He just sat there like a helpless rag doll, wishing and hoping that he'd just leave us all here. _

_I could see all the pain he was going through in his baby blue eyes…they were so dull now…they were devoid of life. His life had no purpose anymore, he had lost all he had. He had nothing to live for anymore, and he thought he had no reason to stay._

"_Danny, please, don't!" I screamed._

"_Sam, it's for the best!"_

"_No it's not! How do you think it is for me!" I replied. I stared at his wrists. How deep did those cuts go? As far as I could see, they went extremely deep, and the stream of liquid was heavy and constant. Danny was getting dizzy and he fell on top of me. When I caught him and got close up to his wrists, I screamed. Loudly. _

_When I finished, I picked up my dying friend and dragged him to the sink. I tended his wounds. I washed the cuts with him all the while moaning for me to stop. I knew that he wanted it so badly. It was like a goal he'd been reaching for all his life, but I couldn't let him have it. No matter what. _

_When the blood was cleaned up, I took a long piece of paper towel from the dispenser and wrapped it around one wrist as a bandage. I took a second one and repeated the process. _

_Sighing, I stared at Danny, who had fainted by now. I had to wonder: what would come of him?_

Sleep and never wake up. It's a good deal, and it's all I want. My last coveted thing. No one would get in the way now. The very second I lay down in that bed, I'm never going to wake up and live in my own perfect world.

"_SAM!" he screamed. Sam ran up to him. "Sam, please…help me!" he screamed. She immediately panicked._

"_What's wrong? What happened? Are you alright?"_

"_Sam ,I'm going insane! I can't handle it anymore!" He was clutching at his head, tears rolling down his cheeks. His knuckles were showing white and she was sure that he was cracking his skull. With frightening intensity, he screamed an anguished yell for help. _

"_HELP! IT'S TAKING OVER ME! IT'S DESTROYING ME, IT'S EATING ME FROM THE INSIDE!" he screamed. Sam tried to do something as her own tears fell, but couldn't. Again, Danny let out another scary shriek, this time shaking his head as if trying to rid it of demons. _

"_Danny, please, it will be alright, I promise!" Sam couldn't promise him what he needed. She needed him, but that wasn't going to save him._

"_It won't! I swear, it won't!" Danny collapsed against the wall, falling to the ground. A puddle of tears gathered and Sam could really see how desperate Danny was. He screamed once more before Sam fell over, lost in her thoughts and lost hope. _

This is all I need. When my head touches that pillow, it will take an eternity to wake me up…and I'll finally be free of the pain…the shackles that held me down…I'll be free of the insanity and I'll finally be happy.

Goodnight world.

And I'm sorry, Sam.


End file.
